Kill the person on the throne and take a seat. We'll say 14dwright is currently on the throne.
Gorgoth slits 14dwrights throat and sits down
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Gorgoth pulls the pen out and performs CPR on himself to revive himself. He then takes the ink out of the pen stabs the inkwell into 14dwright's throat and finishes writing the card in 14dwright's blood. Gorgoth then posts the letter and sits down. He places a minefield and calls in the entire British Army to defend him.
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